Fear. Doubt. Anxiety.
We all feel these things. It is a part of the human condition that we experience these emotions. But do they help you or hurt you?
If you are about to jump off of a tall building, fear is a good thing; it might stop you from doing something stupid. However, if you are considering a change of career, a move, entering a new relationship or terminating an old one, or spending some time hiking or camping or boating or traveling or …, these emotions might very well prevent you from experiencing the very core of life.
Fear and anxiety are natural, but they should not be your master. These feelings are meant to act as warning flags. They are a product of the primitive, reptilian part of the brain and the conscious mind. The brain has a single job, and it isn’t your long-term happiness; it’s survival. The only thing your brain has evolved for is keeping you alive. Historically, it is very good at that job. But the world has changed from what it was even 200 years ago, and evolution hasn’t yet caught up.
Machinery, for instance, has made it possible to jump off a cliff and fly. To the reptilian brain, however, the act of jumping off a cliff is a certain way to not survive. So we feel anxiety around steep edges and long drops, even when we understand that the hang glider or paraglider or bungee cord or whatever is going to change the outcome and keep us safe. Even the people who go hang gliding regularly feel a certain rush as they make the leap from the ground… this rush is fear; but it doesn’t stop them from the experience.
Hiking in the wilderness can also be worrisome for many people. Nature has a way of making us seem pitiful in comparison. Heat, wind, lightning, fire, earthquakes, landslides, vast deserts with no water, predatory animals, territorial animals… all these things are enormous compared to little me. Yet I choose to hike, camp, and otherwise experience nature. There is fear, but it doesn’t stop me. It’s an indicator that something in our current environment or circumstance requires more attention than normal, that’s all.
Closer to home, we fear for our kids’ safety, for the environment, our financial future, and a myriad of other things every day. The question I have for you is can you act in spite of your fear? Does your fear control you or does it serve you? It can’t do both.
T. Harv Eker teaches that fear is “anticipation of pain”. This rings true for me. I don’t fear the present instant I’m experiencing; rather, I fear some of the things that might happen in the future based on things that are happening at the moment. Fear is anticipation of what might happen, not what is happening. It is something we imagine and create, not something tangible.
Why is it that two people, in the same place at the same time, don’t experience the same fears? It’s because fear is created inside our heads, not experienced from the outside. Each person creates a different picture of the future, and therefore has a different expectation of what could be a problem. Fear is all in our heads, it is our own creation.
Therein lies a powerful opportunity. You see, we can live as if all the bad things we think of might or will happen. Or, if we want, we can choose to focus on the good things and put our attention on the opportunities. The former is pessimism; the latter: optimism. I choose optimism.
In order to stay alive, I listen when my mind has something to say. After all, it is very good at recognizing potential hazards and dangers. However, that’s where fear stops with me. I listen, I acknowledge, and then I act. I feel the fear and do it anyway. I ride motorcycles, I skydive, I do all types of dangerous things. I feel fear every time I am about to jump from an airplane. And I always jump.
When I was about 22, I went skydiving one day. I rode my motorcycle to the drop zone. And I realized at the end of the day that I had not felt any fear about anything: riding fast, the jumps, anything. That day I gave up both motorcycles and skydiving for several months. I realized that I couldn’t hear the little indicators that were necessary for me to hope to survive. If something bad started to transpire, I wouldn’t hear the warnings fast enough to respond appropriately. Until I could feel fear, I couldn’t act in a way that was safe.
I feel fear. I experience anxiety. I doubt myself from time to time. These are my indications that my mind is working properly. And I go on living my life, pushing myself to grow. I hear the voice, I acknowledge the advice, and I do it anyway.
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Healthy thoughts,
Jeff
