This has been a wonderful year.

I’ve had the joy of meeting new friends around the world. Friends like Daniel and Paul, Jay and Charlie. Friends who have helped me see myself and the world from a different perspective.

I’ve had the joy of traveling through Southeast Asia, seeing some of the most beautiful jungle and ocean I’ve ever encountered.

I’ve had the joy of exposing my son to the Orient, letting him experience cultures that are radically different than the ones he’s known so far.

I’ve had the joy of seeing my brother marry the woman of his dreams, bringing tears to his childrens’ and parents’ eyes.

And, most of all, I have had the joy of spending another wonderful year growing closer to my wife.

Yes, it’s been a great year. What are you thankful for?

Have a Merry Christmas (or whatever holiday you are celebrating now) and a Happy New Year!

(As a reminder, this is the last issue this year. Have a great time with family and friends, and enjoy the holidays!)

In the news

• Stop trying to be the best at everything you do and appreciate being good enough…: Keeping up with the yogis
• … remember to smile along the way…: Your happiness could be contagious
• … and enjoy everything in moderation: Holiday time! This year, don’t pack on pounds

Quote for the week

At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us. - Albert Schweitzer

Healthy thoughts,
Jeff

Ah, it’s Christmas again. I love Christmas. I love all the lights, the pleasant attitudes that people take on, and the smells and flavors that come out this time of year.

I used to get caught up in the gifts. To me, Christmas was about giving and receiving (especially receiving when I was a kid). Over the years, however, I’ve learned to get rid of all the ’stuff’ in my life, and what’s left is much more simple and minimal. And now the gifts aren’t as important to me as the thoughts.

What do I want for Christmas? I want people to smile at each other. I want my friends to remember the conversations we’ve had and the times we’ve shared. I want to share a quiet evening with my wife.

Anything else is appreciated, but not necessary. If I had just those things, I’d be completely content.

As we fully enter the holiday season, remember to enjoy the simple things. Remember to smile to strangers, to be thankful for the friends and significant others you’ve had the joy of sharing your life with.

Remember that life is a gift and that every day is wonderful.

In the news

• ‘I only like me the way I was!’ Youthfulness a costly American obsession
• In a nutshell, convenience trumps health every time: Top 11 Reasons For Fast Food’s Popularity
• Looks can be deceiving: Portion Distortion

Quote for the week

The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak. - Hans Hofmann

Healthy thoughts,
Jeff

Last week, I wrote about choosing happiness. At the end of the essay, I mentioned the sentiment of some that choosing happiness keeps you from achieving long-term success. I want to expand on that thought this week.

The argument goes something like this: it takes drive and motivation to make change in your life, so if you are happy with things the way they are, you don’t have the motivation necessary to change things. To achieve more, you have to be dissatisfied with some things… therefore being happy is incompatible with being successful.

On the surface, there is one glaring issue with this argument: you only have to be dissatisfied with one little thing in your life to make a change in that thing… you can be happy about everything else.

There’s also a deeper problem with the argument: there is a difference between being happy and being comfortable. The argument is really about being comfortable.

What’s the difference?

I am happy that I have food on the table. I am happy that I receive the nourishment I need to survive. I am uncomfortable with how much time I have to spend preparing food, even though I’m happy to prepare food. In my ideal world, I wouldn’t have to cook unless I felt like it, but whenever I do cook, I enjoy the process, even when I would rather be doing something else.I am happy to cook every day if I need to, and I would rather not need to. See the difference?

How about another example: I am happy to spend the money to go out to the movies sometimes. I think movie tickets cost too much compared to my income (especially when I factor in popcorn and drinks). I am uncomfortable with how much a movie costs, but when I make the decision to spend money on an evening at the theater, I am happy do so. I don’t let the cost bother me when I make the choice to do it even though I wish movies cost less (or I made more - same difference).

I strive to be happy in everything I do. Most of the time, it’s easy: I have fun naturally in most things I do. I find things to be happy about if they aren’t obvious. Happiness is a choice.

And, at the same time, I look for ways to improve my life that would have value to me. I seek ways to spend less (time or money) on the things I have to do so that I have more for the things I want to do.

I choose to be happy, and I always seek enhancements. But when I can’t find the enhancements, I am still happy.

‘Ah,’ you say, ’so it’s a trick of words: you really mean you are as happy as you can be but you want to be happier.’

No. I am completely happy, and I’ll be completely happy if I make a change for the better. Not happier, just happy in a different way.

If I were to lose everything, I would still be happy. I would work hard to get much or all of it back, because I like the things I have. But I don’t need anything to be happy. I don’t want anything to be happy. I am just happy.

That’s the difference.

In the news

• I think the people most likely to be at risk would also be the hardest to find for testing: Universal test ‘would slash Aids’
• Be careful who you work for: Bad bosses may damage your heart
• The thought police strike again… really, would you be offended? Stop using ‘dearie’, nurses told

Quote for the week

Happiness arises in a state of peace, not of tumult. - Ann Radcliffe

Healthy thoughts,
Jeff

One of the most difficult lessons I ever learned, and one that I have to keep reminding myself of from time to time, is that happiness comes from within.

I realized just the other day as I was thinking through everything I needed to get done on a very big project that I had forgotten to be happy. I was feeling a lot of stress: time pressure, financial pressure, social pressure, and even self-imposed pressure to perform, and I simply forgot about my happiness. And you know what? I became unhappy.

It’s really not hard to be happy. In The Power of Attitude, I pointed out that every emotion you have is a choice. This includes happiness.

But if it’s so easy, how come more people aren’t happy more of the time? I believe the main reason is that most people don’t understand their personal role in their happiness. Most people think that happiness comes from without.

Every day you hear things like “I’d be happy if…” or “When X happens, everything will be OK again…”. People honestly think that their happiness is tied to some factor or set of factors outside of their own body. But it isn’t.

Happiness is a choice.

I bet if you wanted to, you could get mad in an instant. Try this: think about the last thing your boss (child, spouse, pet, neighbor, …) did that really pissed you off. Put yourself back in that situation, and get fired up! See how quickly you can get angry?

Happiness is exactly the same. It’s just that we don’t practice it as much. For some reason, we have been culturally trained to believe that happiness just happens, that it is outside of our control.

We get a lot of practice being angry. We practice being stressed. We practice complaining about what’s wrong at the moment, and in doing so, we bring all our focus on to the negatives in life.

With one little change, though, you can be happy. Just change your focus. Instead of complaining about what’s wrong, celebrate what’s right. Instead of going over your mistake one more time, congratulate yourself for something you did right. Instead of feeling longing for what you don’t have, feel gratitude for what you do.

I’ve heard some people suggest that choosing to be happy is incompatible with success. I think this is absolute baloney. I’ll discuss that in more depth next week.

For now, just remember to be happy. Look at the silver lining, and be grateful for it. Your whole life will improve as a result.

In the news

• That damn rock ‘n’ Roll will be the death of us all! MP3 Player Headphones May Throw Off Cardiac Devices
• Yes, getting dinner ready for Rover is still food preparation: Pet food sickened at least 79 people, CDC says
• Sounds like they’re working on a hot-rod, not conducting biological research: Souped-up immune cells catch disguised HIV

Quote for the week

The reason people find it so hard to be happy is that they always see the past better than it was, the present worse than it is, and the future less resolved than it will be. - Marcel Pagnol

Healthy thoughts,
Jeff

“Dream as if you’ll live forever, live as if you’ll die today.” With those words, James Dean proved himself to be a very wise man.

As a child I remember having very big dreams. I wanted it all, and then some. I wanted infinite riches, the best cars, airplanes, and boats that could be bought. I wanted a mansion on every continent. I wanted to see everything there was to see and to do everything there was to do. I wanted to go into space, to see the bottom of the ocean, to climb mountains and cross deserts. If it could be imagined, I had imagined it. I wanted, wanted, wanted… Although I never had a plan, I sure had the dreaming part down.

Many people I know get stuck in dreaming mode, like I was so many years ago. It’s easy to dream, to desire, to want. It’s easy to look at what you don’t have or what you don’t have enough of and to desire more. And it’s fun! The imagination is a powerful place.

And then I grew up. I started working, started taking responsibility for my finances and my time. And suddenly, it wasn’t so easy to dream. Suddenly, it was really pretty difficult just to cover the basics and have a little left for fun. While I did take up some hobbies and activities (skydiving and scuba-diving, for instance), I found that most of my time was spent building wealth for others. The dreams started to die. I was making a living, but I wasn’t living.

Truly living is about following your dreams. Sometimes they work out exactly as you planned, other times they come out vastly different from anything you could have prepared yourself for, but always they feed your inner spirit. Living your dream is fulfillment of the soul.

Living and dreaming go hand-in-hand. A dream by itself is perpetually unfulfilled. A dreamless life is perpetually unfulfilling.

Somewhere along the way I remembered again, both how to dream and how to live my dreams. Now I regularly pick a ‘next thing’ and then prepare for it and do it (or sometimes I skip the preparation and just do it, regardless of the result). And you know what? Life is fantastic as a result!

What do you dream about? Are your dreams material? Spiritual? Emotional? Do they revolve around a common theme, like travel or knowledge? Or have you forgotten to dream for a while? Are your dreaming gears rusting from lack of use?

Take the time regularly to dream. Remind yourself daily to feed the imagination and to let your mind wander, and see where it takes you.

Then take some of those dreams and go do them. Maybe everyone else tells you that you can’t do something or that you’re crazy to try. Let them believe that, then come back and tell them what it was like. Others may choose to live without living, but me: I live.

In the news

• Maybe we should outlaw grey skies: Rainfall autism theory suggested
• How about adult’s play? Child’s play ‘better than a jog’
• Ack! She has cooties! Women’s hands ‘harbour more bugs’

Quote for the week

If you have only two pennies left in the world, with the first penny, you should buy rice to feed your family. With the second penny, say the wise Japanese, you should buy a lily. - Japanese Proverb

Healthy thoughts,
Jeff