It has been said that with anything in your life, any circumstance, any condition, any result, you have three choices: you can leave it, you can change it, or you can accept it. This is true of your job, your relationships, your money situation… anything. While the best choice isn’t always easy to see, ultimately these are the only options you have.
Of the three, acceptance is the most difficult.
Leaving it behind is the easiest. Many people find it easier to walk away from a difficult situation than to face it. It’s human nature. Usually this is also the least effective way to handle anything of significance. For most of the day-to-day noise of our life, however, it is the best strategy to use. We can’t possibly assimilate everything that comes our way; the vast majority of what we see, hear, and feel in the day is simply ignored.
Changing our surroundings is the next approach. A large part of initiative and performance is measured by what we do to change the world we live in. If the majority of people ignore the world, the ‘movers and shakers’ change it, adapt it, make it more interesting, more safe, or more useful. American culture especially celebrates those who create change.
Accepting reality is the toughest of them all. While creating change can be physically and mentally demanding, learning acceptance is emotionally demanding. Accepting the world we live in, the current circumstance at work or at home, is challenging, but it is also extremely rewarding. To be able to accept anything we chose to, this gives us absolute freedom.
What must we learn to accept? Well, the things that are beyond our power to change, for starters. You may not like the way others on the road are driving, but nothing you can do will have much impact on them. Ditto with the behavior of your coworkers or the weather or… well, of any system that is bigger than you.
But why stop there? Why not also learn to accept the things that we can change but don’t have to? For instance, I can exert time, attention, and energy each time I make a meal to make it taste just perfect, just as I imagine. Alternately, I can experiment and then accept the results, for better or for worse. Rather than continually trying to improve it, I can make the choice to experience it the way it is and enjoy it as it is. Each meal is a surprise.
Should acceptance be universal? No. Just as there are appropriate times to accept our world, there are also appropriate times to change it, and to ignore it. No one of the three is the end-all answer. If we just accept everything the way it is, the world would never change, our daily lives would be monotonous, we would be at the mercy of the dangers of everyday life. But just as we should not universally try to accept everything, we also should not universally try to change everything. Acceptance liberates us from the binds of life and gives us the freedom to experience nirvana in any moment.
How does one learn acceptance? There are many books on the topic. many religions teach a variety of practices towards this end, and you can find workshops all around the world giving pointers and guides. I recommend you look around you, I’m sure you’ll find the resources you need. Or send me an email, and I we can discuss personal coaching towards learning acceptance. It is not an easy journey, but it is a powerful one.
Learn to accept the things you cannot change. Better yet, learn to accept anything you chose to whenever you want. With practice, you will find it comes in handy. With mastery, you will find true power and absolute freedom the likes of which you cannot imagine.
Other news
- Don’t punish them… No such thing as naughty anymore?
- … don’t drug them… Fear over child tranquilliser use
- … and whatever you do, don’t educate them… Many ADHD pupils excluded – poll
Quote for the week
I finally figured out the only reason to be alive is to enjoy it. – Rita Mae Brown
Healthy thoughts,
Jeff
