Where do you define the boundary of ’self’ in your world?
Does ’self’ end at the physical boundary of your body? That doesn’t really make sense if you think about it, as we typically include surrounding personal space in our description of ’self’. If someone enters your personal space, you are very aware of it, even if your body hasn’t been touched.
Does ’self’ end at the extent of that close-in boundary? That doesn’t quite work, either. It seems natural to include some of our surrounding living and storage space in our notion of ’self’. If your house is robbed, for instance, you may feel personally violated. So self extends beyond your reach, and even into spaces nowhere near where you currently are.
‘Self’ can even include other people, to an extent. Any pair or group of people who are very close each see the other(s) as being part of ’self’ to some degree. Over enough time, that inclusion is nearly (or even totally) complete, so that each person fully includes the other in their notion of ’self’.
With enough openness, ’self’ can be grown to include anything you can imagine. This takes practice. It also takes unconditional love and trust. If you extend ’self’ to include others, you are not dictating their actions or emotions or experiences, you are allowing them to have their life experience (whatever it may be) and including that in your life experience.
Compare that with the ‘ownership’ viewpoint. If I own an object, then I expect it to be where I left it. If I own a dog, then I expect it to answer to my beck and call. But if I extend myself to include an object or a pet or a fellow human, then I am agreeing to accept it the way it is. (Sure, I may shape it’s behavior, but I do it with care and attention, with intention, rather than from a place of control or demand.)
‘Self’ can even be extended to include everything, the entire cosmos. This is a very simplistic statement of what it means to Become One with the universe. It is Enlightenment, or connection with God, or whatever your religious perspective may call it. It is a liberating feeling in the moments it can be experienced.
Some choose to phrase this slightly differently, to call this experience ’self-less’ rather than ’self’. Sure, to drop the boundary between you and not-you could be simplified this way. However, I choose to see this as an extension rather than a loss. When you experience yourself as being more than just your body, you are feeling a spiritual connection and communication, a communion, with everything around you. This means growing, not eradicating, your identity. This, in my mind, is not self-less, it is extended self.
Extending yourself is basically loving life, the world, your fellow man, and you. It means being present, in the here and now, and experiencing all the wonders around you. It means opening up and becoming vulnerable, relinquishing control, knowing that there are aspects of yourself that are beyond your control even though they are within your ’self’. It means observing and feeling that which is going on in the world beyond your physical body.
Extending yourself means opening your heart and and truly being. Being more than just you. Just being.
Other news
- This, ironically, drives premiums up even more: More Young People Going Without Health Insurance
- Smoke ‘em if ya got ‘em: Cigarette machines may be banned
- Pour me another! Oh, wait, wrong bottle: Bottling it up ‘can ease trauma’
Quote for the week
We are all spiritual beings having a human experience. - Anonymous
From the editor
In case you hadn’t noticed, I took the source citations (shown as [www.somedomain.com], for instance) out of the links I’m putting in the newsletter. In the past, the newsletter was primarily distributed via email, and my desire was to give readers a way to ensure the links they were seeing were valid and not spoofed or altered. I have decided over time that the readers who are likely to look are also likely to know other ways to find the same information, and the extra editing effort I was putting in was not worth it. If you have thoughts on this matter, please feel free to contact me.
Also, I just found an error with the site that is making it hard (impossible?) to post comments on blog entries. I’m still trying to figure out what’s going on. If you’ve seen this before, please let me know of things to try.
Healthy thoughts,
Jeff
