I’m sure you’ve heard someone say: “You can please some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can’t please all of the people all of the time.” How very true.
And yet, how many of us continue to try to do things to make those around us happy? Moreover, how many of us put great importance on doing so?
Sure, it’s a good thing to think of others when you decide where to invest your time and energy. It’s always a right to consider the thoughts and feelings of those around you. And often that will lead you to do things differently than you otherwise would if you only took yourself into account.
The mistake most people make is in their intent: it’s right to consider others, to take others into account; it’s counterproductive to try to please others all the time.
For instance, when I am driving, I am considerate of other drivers: I signal my intentions, I look before changing lanes, I leave room in front and behind me as I maneuver. I don’t, however, try to keep all the other drivers on the road happy. I don’t automatically make room just because another driver is trying to force their way into my lane. I don’t drive faster than is comfortable or appropriate just because the person behind me is tailgating and wants me to go faster. I consider other drivers.
Some other drivers are going to be upset no matter what I do. Others will be upset with the way I do something because it’s not the way they would do it. Still others take offense when I drive faster than the limit, or wait for a pedestrian, or whatever. I can’t possibly please all of them. So I don’t try.
The same applies at home and at work. I am always aware of the impact of my choices and actions on those around me (even though I sometimes get it wrong). However, I don’t go out of my way to always try to make everyone happy… it’s just not possible. I can avoid doing things which I know will upset them, but after that, it’s their responsibility to choose how they feel about what I do.
Trying to keep the people around you happy is a fool’s game. It can’t be done. Only they can be happy or be not happy by their own choices. Consider others, make your choices from a place of kindness and love, and be happy yourself. That’s the most you can do.
Other news
- Here’s one you don’t want the neighbor’s kid hacking into: Wireless Device Approved for Diabetics
- I hadn’t even heard of the, uh, gas-passing yoga before: Seven Silly Fitness Fads
- How about we just start feeding them right instead? US backs statin use for children
Quote for the week
People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they’re not on your road doesn’t mean they’ve gotten lost. - H. Jackson Brown, Jr
From the editor
I am amazed at how differently I see Korea now that I’ve had some time away. When I left, I felt weighted down, stuck. Now I feel light and flowing again.
Returning home from the airport, I saw a street full of neon and midnight shoppers. And I thought to myself, wow, what a beautiful, colorful street! Just a week before I would have been pleading for an end to the neon and busyness everywhere, and now it’s alright.
A change of pace did me good.
Healthy thoughts,
Jeff
