When good things happen to you, to what do you attribute the result? Do you associated it with your abilities, talents, and skills? Or do you feel you are just ‘lucky’ to have had the circumstance occur? Most people credit themselves when they accomplish, achieve, or receive something.
Now here’s the more important question, and one which requires serious (and truthful) reflection before answering: When bad things happen to you, to what do you attribute the result? Do you associate it with your abilities, talents, and skills? Or do you feel you are just ‘unlucky’ to have had the circumstance occur?
Most people place the blame for bad results outside of themselves. They blame other people. They blame their pet. They blame the masses (traffic or evil corporations, for example, or just ‘those people’). They blame the intangibles (’that’s just the way it goes sometimes’, ‘I was unlucky’). Some go so far as to blame all things they don’t like on their envisioned opponents. Everything is the fault of the Republicans or the Democrats (depending on which party they are a member of), the Chinese or the Russians or the Terrorists.
The only place they don’t place partial or full responsibility for the result is on their self. The problem with this line of thinking, though, is it takes away your power to succeed at anything. Let me explain:
To be successful, to accomplish our dreams or achieve our desires, we must be do something. We must take action. I think most people recognize this to be true. But taking action is not enough. We must take action in the right direction.
Drawing back a bow and shooting an arrow is guaranteed to miss the vast majority of the time if you don’t aim. At first, you don’t know how to aim, so you will probably miss anyway. But after each shot, with reflection, you begin to figure out how to be more accurate with the next shot. Ready, fire, aim, fire, aim, fire, repeat.
It’s the same with our personal goals. Sure, early on we don’t really know what to do to move in the right direction. But we take some action anyway, and then, and this is the vital part, we observe the result and correct ourselves to better align our next action with the desired goal.
If you believe lack of results comes from within, then you have the ability to correct your efforts and better your results next time. But if you believe lack of results comes from outside yourself, then you stop trying, and you get nowhere.
Taking responsibility for your outcomes, no matter what, is called an internal locus of control. Placing blame elsewhere is called an external locus of control. Where is your locus of control, internal or external?
Not everything is within our power to influence. Sometimes, things just happen. But the vast majority of the time, the decisions we make and the actions we take every day creates the outcomes we see, regardless of what’s going on around us. Maybe today disruptions at work happened to be exceptionally bad, but in general have I created a workplace that is free from distraction or have I done things to invite the interruptions that keep me from getting my work done? Maybe today traffic happened to be exceptionally thick, but in general have I chosen a reasonable place to live and time to leave to get to work on time regularly? If I always blame my coworkers, or if I always blame traffic, then I am not taking responsibility for the effect my decisions had in the matter. I am robbing myself of the power to succeed.
Of course, it’s not enough to say you have an impact in both the good and the bad results, you must believe it. It must be integral to your overall thought process. But it starts by simply asking, ‘what could I have done differently in this case?’.
Other news
- Or “don’t hear this”, as the case may end up being: Now hear this: Leave your earwax alone
- Each cancer is unique, just like every other cancer: Gene map shows no two cancers alike
- Warning - you might get sick if you suppress your immune system: FDA Demands Tougher Warnings on Immunosuppressive Drugs
Quote for the week
It is possible to fail in many ways…while to succeed is possible only in one way. - Aristotle
From the editor
Once again, it’s time for me to ask you to tell your friends about Weekly Wellness News. Please share this. If you enjoy it, forward the email or website link to your family and friends… chances are, they will enjoy it too.
Also, if you have any thoughts on this (or any) issue, please leave your comments on the website! We’d love to hear from you!
Don’t forget: Friday is International Talk Like a Pirate Day! Arrrhhh!
Healthy thoughts,
Jeff
