“Dream as if you’ll live forever, live as if you’ll die today.” With those words, James Dean proved himself to be a very wise man.

As a child I remember having very big dreams. I wanted it all, and then some. I wanted infinite riches, the best cars, airplanes, and boats that could be bought. I wanted a mansion on every continent. I wanted to see everything there was to see and to do everything there was to do. I wanted to go into space, to see the bottom of the ocean, to climb mountains and cross deserts. If it could be imagined, I had imagined it. I wanted, wanted, wanted… Although I never had a plan, I sure had the dreaming part down.

Many people I know get stuck in dreaming mode, like I was so many years ago. It’s easy to dream, to desire, to want. It’s easy to look at what you don’t have or what you don’t have enough of and to desire more. And it’s fun! The imagination is a powerful place.

And then I grew up. I started working, started taking responsibility for my finances and my time. And suddenly, it wasn’t so easy to dream. Suddenly, it was really pretty difficult just to cover the basics and have a little left for fun. While I did take up some hobbies and activities (skydiving and scuba-diving, for instance), I found that most of my time was spent building wealth for others. The dreams started to die. I was making a living, but I wasn’t living.

Truly living is about following your dreams. Sometimes they work out exactly as you planned, other times they come out vastly different from anything you could have prepared yourself for, but always they feed your inner spirit. Living your dream is fulfillment of the soul.

Living and dreaming go hand-in-hand. A dream by itself is perpetually unfulfilled. A dreamless life is perpetually unfulfilling.

Somewhere along the way I remembered again, both how to dream and how to live my dreams. Now I regularly pick a ‘next thing’ and then prepare for it and do it (or sometimes I skip the preparation and just do it, regardless of the result). And you know what? Life is fantastic as a result!

What do you dream about? Are your dreams material? Spiritual? Emotional? Do they revolve around a common theme, like travel or knowledge? Or have you forgotten to dream for a while? Are your dreaming gears rusting from lack of use?

Take the time regularly to dream. Remind yourself daily to feed the imagination and to let your mind wander, and see where it takes you.

Then take some of those dreams and go do them. Maybe everyone else tells you that you can’t do something or that you’re crazy to try. Let them believe that, then come back and tell them what it was like. Others may choose to live without living, but me: I live.

In the news

• Maybe we should outlaw grey skies: Rainfall autism theory suggested
• How about adult’s play? Child’s play ‘better than a jog’
• Ack! She has cooties! Women’s hands ‘harbour more bugs’

Quote for the week

If you have only two pennies left in the world, with the first penny, you should buy rice to feed your family. With the second penny, say the wise Japanese, you should buy a lily. - Japanese Proverb

Healthy thoughts,
Jeff

I often find myself thinking about all the things I want to do during my lifetime. Some of them are big dreams, like sailing around the world. Others are much smaller in scope, but still significant to me, like reading all the old ‘classic’ works by Homer and Dickens and such.

Most dreams remain just that: dreams. In the daily business of life, it is easy to forget about the bigger picture because I am so focused on the tasks that feel important in the moment. Sometimes they really are important, but often those little tasks really don’t matter; if they were skipped, it would not affect my life one bit for the worse.

I used to dream about something and then forget it. Eventually I figured out this wouldn’t work very well, so I started to dream about something and then write it down. Later I learned how to make sure I would stumble across the writing at a time in my life when I could actually act on it, how to commit my dreams to memory so I would think about them often, and how to clarify my dreams so that they were achievable and not just ambiguous ideas with no clear vision.

But still, many dreams eluded me. I thought about them all the time, but I didn’t often make progress towards achieving them.

One day I had one of those deep ‘Aha!’ moments, an experience of ‘Eureka!’… it finally clicked that there was one step missing: action. I was never doing the next that had to be done for the dream to ever happen. It was easy to ‘know’ this, but it finally sunk in and I got it. I needed to do something in order to get something.

I still struggled with this for a while. I mean, if you’re going to sail around the world, where do you start? If you know you don’t know what you need to know to do something, what’s a step you can take? Reading often turns into an excuse for not taking action (’I just have one more thing to research and then I’ll be ready to go get started…’).

Finally, I found what works to motivate me to get started. It takes two steps:

1. Find a mentor: who do I know or who can I arrange to meet who has experience that would help me?
2. Commit time or money: I’m not poor, but I’m not rich either; as soon as I commit money to something, there’s no way I’m backing out of it.

A mentor will help me figure out what I don’t know and find productive ways to start learning. Often, one of those ways will be to take a course or buy equipment or join a group, and this is where I commit myself. Once I’ve put it on my calendar or invested money into it, it’s going to happen.

What works for you? What inspires you to take action? What gets you off your butt and working towards the things you’ve always wanted to do?

A dream without action will forever be just a dream.

In the news

• I knew you had to be a little off to climb the big peaks: High summits ‘could harm brain’
• Maybe if mountain climbers carried web browsers… Internet use ‘good for the brain’
• Notice they used a drawing, not a picture of a real wired monkey: Mind power moves paralysed limbs

Quote for the week

Most of us die with our music still in us. - Oliver Wendall Holmes

Healthy thoughts,
Jeff

As I’ve mentioned before, your habits determine your results. Simply focusing on your habits and making the effort to change them will give you great understanding of why you get the results you do.

Sometimes, however, the result you achieve is not the point. Or, more correctly, the externally-perceived result is not the point. Sometimes the point has nothing to do with productivity or goals or any of that, and instead the desired result is an emotional state or good feeling. In this case, habits are not the tool you want to use. Instead, you want ritual.

A ritual is a series of actions or thoughts conducted with the intent of bringing your mind to a certain place. Going for a walk every morning might be a habit, but if you make a point of experiencing the walk (by enjoying the fresh air, watching the birds and insects, listening to the breeze in the leaves) then you are conducting a ritual. Having a routine you go through before bed to help you fall asleep faster is a ritual.

Ritual is a very powerful tool. The power lies in the fact that we all have a lot of junk floating around in our minds. The path to happiness is basically one of getting rid of all the junk. Rituals are a shortcut to clear away all the noise for a short while so that you can experience peace, which in turn brings happiness.

In fact, ritual can take you to any emotional space you want, not just happiness, but we’ll focus on happiness for now.

Our habits happen blindly; we are often completely unaware what exactly we are doing. Rituals, on the other hand, draw our attention to the activity and actions. By keeping us consciously aware of our purpose and intent, rituals help us connect to source, or that deeper spiritual place within (or without, depending on your specific beliefs). Ritual is the cord that plugs us in to our spirit.

Of course, many people have ‘rituals’ that are simply habits in disguise. If you perform a ritual often enough, eventually you may forget why you are doing it or even that you are doing it, at which point it is just a habit. If you used to meditate every morning and watch out the window, but eventually you got bored with the process and now you sit in front of the TV instead, you are no longer acting in ritual space. To benefit from ritual, it must be something that clears your mind rather than filling it, something you do intentionally rather than something you do ‘just because’.

How much time do you devote to clearing your mind? If you’re not sure, the answer is probably ‘none’. What rituals could you add to your free time that would help you find inner peace?

What rituals do you follow? Do you have religious rituals that you perform regularly? Personal rituals? Are they things you do alone or with others? In the morning or at night?

I’d like to hear about your rituals…

In the news

• Plastic surgery’s new marketing focus: Jealous types ‘have different-sized feet’
• As revealed by foot-size? Study reveals world’s most jealous men
• ‘Check out the stride on her!’ Your walk may reveal more than you think

Quote for the week

We don’t have too much ritual in our life anymore. And these life symbols which people rely on to keep their feeling of well being, that life is not too bad after all are required more and more. - John Hench

Healthy thoughts,
Jeff

Last week, we discussed the importance of being truthful with ourselves. That is absolutely necessary if you want to succeed in life, to make positive changes. The internal process of being truthful is a life skill to master… it should be at the top of your list of personal priorities, it’s so important. Start there.

Number two on the list is living with integrity. This is simply the externalization of being truthful with yourself. It means reflecting the truth inside in every action and every statement you make. It means your observable actions are consistent with your internal beliefs.

It sounds easy. I mean, all you have to do is say and do what you believe is right. Yet it can be quite a challenge sometimes.

Often we compromise our integrity because we don’t want to hurt someone, because we are trying to protect someone’s feelings. We tell them what they want to hear rather than what we believe. Sometimes this might even be the right thing to do. But we’re not coming from integrity when we do this.

Other times, we know the outcome is appropriate and so we allow ourselves to justify doing the wrong thing so long as it’s for ‘the right reason’. A good example of this is the story of Robin Hood, in which the ‘hero’ steals from people in order to give to the poor. While his motives might be pure, his actions are immoral by any moral code that doesn’t allow theft. If stealing is wrong, then the motives don’t matter. You must make a choice… is stealing always wrong? Only then can you judge his actions, and only then can you know whether you could do the same and still be true to yourself.

But if, for the most part, the way we live is reflective of what we believe, then we are living with integrity.

Here’s an interesting question to ask yourself: which comes first, being truthful with yourself or acting with integrity?

I have found, over the years, that there is a lot of truth to the adage: actions speak louder than words. I believe that our actions and choices tell us more of the truth about ourselves than our conscious thoughts do. Not always; sometimes, we take an action in an effort to do the right thing, but it is misinterpreted or otherwise backfires. But if we observe our behavior over time, we find out who we really are. Our actions are the doorway to the truth about ourselves.

In other words, living from truth means acknowledging that how you behave is more reflective of what you believe than what you think is right or wrong. And that means that to change your behaviors, you need to change your beliefs. And that means we need a way to unlock and examine and modify those beliefs, if we ever hope to be fundamentally different than we are.

But that’s for another issue.

Other news

• Rea-dy, let’s go! Cheerleading Causes Majority of Female Athlete Injuries
• The future of college subsistence: N Korea ‘develops special noodle’
• Yet another divide created in the minds of the fearful: Strife over shots: Should our kids play together?

Quote for the week

If my hands are fully occupied in holding on to something, I can neither give nor receive. - Dorothee Solle

From the editor

It’s been over a month since it occurred, and still many people have not heard about it: Randy Pausch passed away.

Who is Randy Pausch? He’s the professor who made The Last Lecture (a series of lectures at Carnegie Mellon University) famous. When he found out he was terminally ill, he gave a lecture that inspired people all over the world. It was his last chance to share with his children the values and viewpoints he wanted them to take into their lives. He also wrote a book, The Last Lecture. These are must see/read items.

After spending 6 months changing the world, Randy died in late July. Thankfully, his message of hope, inspiration, and jubilation will live on.

Healthy thoughts,
Jeff

I’m sure you’ve heard someone say: “You can please some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can’t please all of the people all of the time.” How very true.

And yet, how many of us continue to try to do things to make those around us happy? Moreover, how many of us put great importance on doing so?

Sure, it’s a good thing to think of others when you decide where to invest your time and energy. It’s always a right to consider the thoughts and feelings of those around you. And often that will lead you to do things differently than you otherwise would if you only took yourself into account.

The mistake most people make is in their intent: it’s right to consider others, to take others into account; it’s counterproductive to try to please others all the time.

For instance, when I am driving, I am considerate of other drivers: I signal my intentions, I look before changing lanes, I leave room in front and behind me as I maneuver. I don’t, however, try to keep all the other drivers on the road happy. I don’t automatically make room just because another driver is trying to force their way into my lane. I don’t drive faster than is comfortable or appropriate just because the person behind me is tailgating and wants me to go faster. I consider other drivers.

Some other drivers are going to be upset no matter what I do. Others will be upset with the way I do something because it’s not the way they would do it. Still others take offense when I drive faster than the limit, or wait for a pedestrian, or whatever. I can’t possibly please all of them. So I don’t try.

The same applies at home and at work. I am always aware of the impact of my choices and actions on those around me (even though I sometimes get it wrong). However, I don’t go out of my way to always try to make everyone happy… it’s just not possible. I can avoid doing things which I know will upset them, but after that, it’s their responsibility to choose how they feel about what I do.

Trying to keep the people around you happy is a fool’s game. It can’t be done. Only they can be happy or be not happy by their own choices. Consider others, make your choices from a place of kindness and love, and be happy yourself. That’s the most you can do.

Other news

• Here’s one you don’t want the neighbor’s kid hacking into: Wireless Device Approved for Diabetics
• I hadn’t even heard of the, uh, gas-passing yoga before: Seven Silly Fitness Fads
• How about we just start feeding them right instead? US backs statin use for children

Quote for the week

People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they’re not on your road doesn’t mean they’ve gotten lost. - H. Jackson Brown, Jr

From the editor

I am amazed at how differently I see Korea now that I’ve had some time away. When I left, I felt weighted down, stuck. Now I feel light and flowing again.

Returning home from the airport, I saw a street full of neon and midnight shoppers. And I thought to myself, wow, what a beautiful, colorful street! Just a week before I would have been pleading for an end to the neon and busyness everywhere, and now it’s alright.

A change of pace did me good.

Healthy thoughts,
Jeff